2025.12.13 OUT OF BAND SIGNALS

This is my blog where I intend to develop a science fiction/fantasy story that I eventually want to tell. There's a good chance nothing will ever come of it, the story may never ever actually get written at all, but if all my manic energy flows from speculation and ideation, well, hell. I may as well lean into it.

The original concept was to have this as a side blog to explain some of the scientific, mythological, or psychological inspirations for things that happen in the story. A really high bar to hit seeing as I hadn't even written a SINGLE chapter of the story at the time, and as of this writing, still haven't (though I've completed half of the introduction! I'm making progress!). But in my notebooks, all my graphomanic scrawlings amounted about 60% to just musings on things I've observed and speculation about how it applies to the real world. That's where all my manic energy was going, that's where it inexorably WANTED to go. So hey, why not lean into it? Maybe I can never finish anything, but if I've done ANYTHING that's good, may as well just keep doing it.

I found I enjoyed reading my own writing. I know that's arrogant to say, but it's subjects I really like thinking about-- maybe other people will too. Maybe having an audience, even if imaginary, will give me the motivation to keep some kind of standard of quality about my work, maybe make me a better writer in the long run.

So yeah, this blog is half inspired grand plan, half an acknowledgement of my own scattered nature, and half arrogant bloviating.

What form this story would take is still up in the air. Im always working on something-- programming, art, music-- but as you can probably tell, not getting anywhere CLOSE to mastery of any of them. At various times I had wanted to make it a video game, a web comic, a novel... a set of puppets I was going to film. None of them came to anything. I have come to peace with the fact that my nature just doesn't lend itself well to completing projects, I get bored so easily, I feel constrained by routines. I'm kind of a... bum. Yeah. That's the word. Like Lebowski. That's what I tell myself anyway, I'm probably much less likable.

(There's also another factor in this I want to go into, this might be a second post: spoilers, and how they let you enjoy a work, and how over-explaining things like in star wars can kill a lot of that magic. That'll be my second post. The intro just going into my work style, the fact this is a hobby that I can see after years is never going ANYWHERE despite piles and piles of documents outlining various aspects of the lore and worldbuilding, drawings, and a lot of money spent on art supplies and learning to draw. I acknowledge this is just narcissistic floundering, I should probably quit and just go get a day job, but this is just too fulfilling, I have to do this. OK Now I'm going to draft the second post.)

tl;dr: I want to write a story, but I'm realizing I don't have the discipline. So I'm going to channel my manic energy into something I CAN keep motivated to write in-- a blog ABOUT my fictional ideas. I'm not even really trying to make my story real anymore, that's not the point-- the point is to have a creative outlet that I can easily get into the flow state with.